10.21.2012

I'm a father!

This changes everything. My last post, a year ago, was about my friends incredible band, and now I have a son named after that friend.

As I type, he is here in my arms, this little person who is half me. He is beautiful, adorable, cute, handsome, and a treasure to be able to watch grow every day. He has changed my perspective: I look back at life before him and wonder if I might not have been a mechanical trick, only to become a real man on the day of his birth.

He inspires me to be more than I've ever been and to see the world through his eyes. I now see the future not only through my own perspective, but through his, whatever that may be. I look at him and see that my every action will be something for this little man to learn from.

Perhaps all of this is rather commonplace for new fathers, but it's the biggest thing that has happened in my life; how am I supposed to think of my actions in the same way? Well here's how: if I can make the world just a little bit of a better place, than I know at least one person who will benefit from my efforts for longer than I am able to do so.

It's not just that I'm inspired to make the world better for him, but also the hope that if my son sees me full of hope for a better world, for change; if he sees me with a faith in humanity, perhaps he will be able to make more of it all than I have been able. I hope that I am able to pass on at least a little of my naive optimism that that one person CAN make a difference, and each member of humanity IS in their heart trying to make a better place for those they love.

I now get to see the world through my son's eyes. What a gift this is, to have a glimpse into innocence again. Innocence is where our hopes and dreams are born. They are born in a place without fact, fiction, right or wrong, in a place where raw experience allows us to imagine new experiences. Our inspiration comes not from KNOWING for sure what is true, but from learning of a possibility and then imagining the step after that.

Now as I experience the world anew with my son I see every moment as one in which he may find new inspiration. My home, my city, my friends and family are now going to work their way into each of my son's senses and into his understanding.

Here's where I want to express gratitude. Gratitude for the life that our family has, that we now get to share together. There has been outpouring of love from our friends and family towards us and our new son. We've had visitors, phone calls, gifts, cards and home cooked meals showered upon us. So many people we love and care about, weaving a web of love and support around our son. Our neighborhood, and our city provide   this family with acceptance, tolerance, diversity, and community. We are not a lone family with our own web of support, but one among many here in Portland.

I now understand why we've made our life in the way we have. We've done it for our son.

2 comments:

  1. Very well said, Evan, the promise of hope for our children -- so important! I know you and Sasha are well-prepared to be the best parents on earth! Love to you all and God bless. Ruth

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